Deanne Marie (Andrysiak) Schulz - Online Memorial Website

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Deanne (Andrysiak) Schulz
Born in Indiana
43 years
35692
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Deanne Schulz

March 4, 1963-December 16, 2006

 

 

 It’s nice to see everyone here to pay their respects and share their love for Deanne Schulz.  To see so many that have traveled so far is true testament to how much Deanne was loved.  My name is Sheldon Harrell, and it’s been my extraordinary pleasure, along with my wife, Michelle, to know Deanne for more than 15 years.

 

She was born Deanne Andrysiak, March 4th, 1963, in South Bend, Indiana.  Her brother, Denny, and her sister Donna are here, and they can attest that Deanne was very proud of her roots.  South Bend is a strong Catholic community.  I did not know Deanne to be a football fan, but if the subject ever came up, she was quick to claim Notre Dame as her team of choice.  Notre Dame’s campus is, of course, in South Bend, so to Deanne, that was the home team.

 

Deanne was also very proud of her Polish heritage.  She spoke lovingly many times about her Grandmother, her Boo’sha, and her Grandfather, or Zsa’-zsu, as she called him.  And it was within the first few months that we knew Deanne, she had already made us her Easter soup.  Easter soup is a Polish tradition.  If you’ve never had it, it’s delicious, and it’s a great way to dispense with all those hard-boiled eggs at Easter time.

 

Deanne and her husband, Terry, first met when they were both working a job planting trees, at that time, in Kentucky.  The fact that they met while planting trees, I find to be wonderfully symbolic.

 

They became friends, and when the tree-planting season ended, they went their separate ways.  But as fate, and love, would have it, some time later, they sought each other out.

 

I remember the day I first met Deanne.  Terry and I were roommates.  It was one of those hot, August days in Tennessee, and Terry was eagerly awaiting her arrival from South Bend.  She experienced some delays in getting there, so Terry was pretty anxious by the time she did arrive.  When he opened the door, there she was, with this big old hairy, lazy-looking dog, named Rita, by her side.  Now, me, being the roommate, I was thinking, “Oh, great, she brought a big old hairy, lazy-looking dog.”  But she flashed that quick happy smile, and I quickly got over the dog.

 

I know you all knew Deanne’s smile.  Picture it for a moment… such a sweet, easy smile. 

 

When Terry opened that door that day and Deanne, and her dog, were on the other side, another tree was planted at that moment…  the tree of their relationship.  And it would bear fruit in the form of their children: Cooper, Theo, and Mikey.

 

I was dating my future wife, Michelle, at the time, and we became friends with Deanne very quickly, but it was easy to sense that it was the kind of friendship that would last.  Particularly with Deanne and Michelle.  They formed a very special bond.

 

Deanne was that rare kind of person you’re fortunate to meet.  She always put others before herself.  She was always there when you needed a friend.  She would listen to your woes and your sorrows… and with her kind words of encouragement… her insight… and her knowledge… she always gave you strength to move ahead.  She was truly a loving person.  Someone once said,

 

“To love for the sake of being loved is human,

but to love for the sake of loving is angelic.”

 

Deanne was angelic.

 

She spoke of her family often, and she spoke of them well.  It wasn’t so long ago that Deanne shared a story… a memory from her childhood.  Like most kids, she liked to spend most of her summers barefooted.  When she was at her Grandfather’s, she’d have her shoes off, and start to take off in a run across his yard, only to stop because of the pain it caused the bottom of her feet… because her Grandfather refused to water his lawn, so it was all crisp and scratchy.

 

She spoke of her brother Denny and her sister Donna with the love and pride that only a big sister can.  (Address Denny and Donna) Even though you were separated by miles, you were ever-present in her heart and in her mind.  She spoke of you often, and delighted in sharing your stories, your successes… even your sorrows… for she loved each of you very deeply.  So, as the days go on, keep your special memories of Deanne close to your heart.

 

Deanne’s Mother is unable to travel to be with us today, but the bond between a Mother and her children is special and unique in so many ways, and Deanne’s bond with her Mother was special and unique as well.  Around the time leading up to and after the birth of Cooper, Deanne’s first son, it was a particularly special time between Deanne and her Mother.  And Deanne shared with us how much it meant when her Mother came to visit after Cooper was born.  (Address Denny and Donna) So, Denny, and Donna, if your Mother’s grief seems to overwhelm her, please take a moment to hold her by the hand.

 

It doesn’t seem that long ago that Terry and Deanne said, “I do,” and started down the journey of building a life together.  Deanne’s dream in life was to be a wife, and a Mother.  There’s a picture in my head from their wedding reception.  Deanne’s Zsazsu was there.  The reception was at Terry’s brother Andy’s house.  And in Andy’s back yard, a couple of people were playing guitar, and Terry joined in on his harmonica.  And as he was playing, I noticed the sunshine glistening off his wedding ring.  And when I looked behind him, I saw Deanne… smiling that wonderful smile.  And the music sounded so sweet.

 

(Address the boys) And Terry and Deanne gave each other these three wonderful boys:  Cooper and Theo and Mikey.  Boys, your Mother is one of the most loving people you’ll ever know, but she loves you, her sons, more than anything in this world.  She told us about how much she enjoyed family outings, like bike riding, and going to the park.  And one of her favorites things to do was lie on the ground with you, and pick out pictures in the clouds.  She truly loved being your Mom.  And you may hear someone say someday how sad it is that you lost your Mother.  But I want you to understand, you haven’t lost your Mother.  Your Mother will always be with you… in your heart.  And she will always be watching over you… with all of the rest of the angels.

 

And your Father will be here to take care of you.  I can honestly say that your Father is, in so many different ways, the strongest man I know.  So with your Dad by your side, and your Mom watching over you… everything will be okay.

 

Terry Schulz… I have admired, respected and loved you for many years.  I’ve known you since we were 12 years old, and your strength is something that everyone in this room can take comfort in.  But there is much that you can take comfort in as well.  Deanne endured great physical suffering over the past weeks… and she is free of that.  Take comfort in all the love in this room, and outside of this room, for Deanne, and for yourself.  Take great comfort in the three boys you made together… the trees you’ve planted.  Because, Terry, I know, Deanne takes comfort in your love for your sons… and she knows… everything is going to be all right.

 

There’s a poem, written by Merrit Malloy, that I think we can all take some comfort in.  It’s called, “When I Die”.

 

When I die

Give what's left of me away

To children

And old men that wait to die

And if you need to cry

Cry for your brother

Walking the street beside you

And when you need me

Put your arms around anyone and give them

What you need to give me.

I want to leave you something

Something better

Than words or sounds

Look for me

In the people I've known or loved

And if you can't give me away

At least let me live on in your eyes

And not on your mind.

 

 

When you leave here today, if there’s one thing I’d like for you to remember, it’s wherever you are, and whenever it may be, and you find yourself without a smile… think of Deanne… and take one of her smiles… because she’ll always have one for you.

 

We love you, Deanne.


 

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